I Feel Like Phil Dunphy Today

Apparently I can be am a hypochondriac.

Every time there is something out of the normal for me health wise, I do what EVERY great American does ... I diagnose myself on WebMD. There is nothing wrong with the fact that someone just might want to see what their situation could be and if they really need to seek medical attention. After all, we want to be great stewards of our time and money.

I do think that the problem is that almost every diagnosis on WebMD will result in painful and immediate death, and that's where the stress level dramatically increases and the sweating starts.

My wife HATES it when I seek anything medical related on the Internet. I've had a heart attack, a ruptured spleen, Gout, and a handful of other catastrophic diseases that have somehow miraculously healed without medical attention.

I'm a worrier and it's not unlike it for me to come to the conclusion that the end is near. I guess I could blame this on past experiences where family members have died way too early or that I am getting older, but regardless, it is an unhealthy way of life and I think that I may just be a fry short of a Happy Meal.

This time it's totally different.

Over the last few weeks I've had some very weird dizzy spells and light headedness on top of other symptoms that I felt just weren't right. Of course I did my due diligence and referred to my handy WebMD app, but this time it's different.

Today I went to the doctor for a PROFESSIONAL opinion and checkup. Today the doctor said he was very concerned with my symptoms and that it could (A BIG COULD) be related to a brain tumor. Now I am hoping and praying for test results to come back quickly so that I can know something! The best case is that I am suffering from some sort of Vertigo or other lesser ailment, but then I also have to consider that things may be worse.

This situation also comes after watching the latest episode of Modern Family where Phil Dunphy - ironically - goes to the doctor and is presented with concern about his health. The doctor tells Phil that if something is wrong with his test results, he would call on Saturday. The doctor does call though Phil gets a message from his son.

Unfortunately when Phil calls back, his doctor has left for London and cannot get any word about the results. The next few hours of Phil's life becomes focused on how little time he has left and his odds of survival. This is the feeling I am experiencing right now.

While it all works out for Phil Dunphy (and is a hilarious ending) I have to wait to see what happens in my own sitcom. How is one supposed to react to the news that what you are struggling with is "very concerning?" In the past, I could reassure myself that my WebMD prognosis was as accurate as a Chinese fortune cookie, but today not so much.

So I am praying. Waiting. Hoping. Either way this turns out, I know it will change things in life.

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