Looking Back. Looking Forward.

I am sitting here on a Saturday morning reflecting on how quickly time has gone by. It’s almost been one year since I made the decision to walk away from a great career, as well as a healthy income and benefits. I had the opportunity to help build a phenomenal business and was able to work with an amazingly talented team. Long term I really did want it to work out and my hope was that I would one day “retire” from my involvement there. And while there are some regrets, from a personal perspective, it was the best decision I could have ever made.

I was an alcoholic again. My ego was off the charts. I was angry about the way things were being handled in the business. I was amidst people in a community who could only be compared to Judas Iscariot. It was one of the best and one of the worst times of my life. Regardless, I am thankful for all of it because I learned and experienced so much … and it brought me back to God, something I had been missing for quite a while.

A monstrous roller coaster ride into the darkest depths of hell.

Starting over in business is never easy – especially at the age of 40. Putting together the broken pieces of life is emotionally exhausting. Not knowing what the future holds income wise is stressful. The months have been filled with enormous potholes and just when you feel as though you are gaining speed again, along comes another roadblock that completely stalls your progress. Top it off with my “little princess” graduating from high school and one can see why I could be a great candidate for a Zoloft commercial. There has been much pain and bitterness during this ride. Yet here is the deal; I am extremely blessed beyond measure and the future will be better.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not a gorilla with a flashlight.

Why am I sharing this with you and why all this crying and whining? Because I care about you. I’ve talked with so many others over this past year who have also been through some really tragic or emotional stuff. Many of them have been doing everything they can to hide the pain or frustration. They don’t feel there is anyone they can talk to or that they are all alone in the journey. You are not alone and it’s time that we experience freedom by getting the gorilla off of our chest!

Yesterday I was finally liberated from so much of what has held me back. I don’t know how it came about (though I think my beautiful wife was the catalyst AND watching Soul Surfer) or why it’s taken so long, but I saw the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in a while. The future IS bright and we can make it better if we just believe and have faith. The best is yet to come.

Today things are still rough. I’m working on rebuilding a business and mending broken pieces. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. And that’s OK. What I do know is that now I can experience joy and freedom again — and YOU can too. We all need to find that place where we can let go and live again. We all need to be able to smash the rearview mirror and focus only on what’s ahead. Who is with me?

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13

 

4 Comments

  1. Mike Rohde on May 14, 2011 at 11:51 am

    Thanks for sharing buddy – keep moving and believing.

  2. James Dalman on May 14, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Thanks Mike!

  3. Craig Wilson on May 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Praying for you James!

  4. James Dalman on May 14, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Thanks Craig!

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