I’ll Beat You Down for a Twenty Dollar Discount

Black Friday.

It brings out the absolute worst in people. What other country than the good ole USA, will complete strangers act like insane lunatics trying get their hands on an Elmo doll or Panasonic stereo, all for a holiday they probably don’t even believe in anymore?

People in other countries all over the world are fighting to save their lives from oppression or tyranny. Our country, we fight for consumerism.

It’s sad to see people behave like inbred monkeys.

Watching a grown man violently push women around to get a TV is just disgusting. Seeing two women fight in a mall and one of them getting tasered is appalling. And groups of people fighting over towels, well, that IS like watching a bunch of inbred monkeys. People have lost their ever-loving minds and this insanity needs to stop!

Where has the decency of humanity gone?

Have we become so enthralled with our own selfish desires that we no longer have any common sense for the safety and well being of others? Are we that desperate for a deal that we are willing to take a person’s life or cripple them all for a $20 savings on an electronic device? Apparently so, because it’s happening more and more as retailers continue to create mass hysteria over discounted items.

We may be the richest and most educated nation on the planet, yet so many people behave worse than wild animals documented by National Geographic shows.

What is the solution?

Honestly I don’t know. I am not sure you can train baboons to change their behavior and act more civilized, but I think you can take away the prize they are fighting for.

Perhaps retailers should have to pay all the medical costs and expenses associated with this violence. Maybe they should even be fined steep penalties for not creating a better system or way to control the crowds. Better yet, why not just have enough products on hand and a three day sale instead of heavily chumming for sharks in a six hour period?

As for the people who want to fight for that 32″ TV … maybe we should put all these people in a cage and when the buzzer sounds, it’s a free for all for the prize in the middle. Apparently there’s a market for this type of event, evident by the chimpanzees who egg on the larger baboons to fight while recording these melees with their phones.

In reality, I think that the people recording these territorial pissing ground battles should do something moral, like help the people getting beat up or trampled (especially women, children, and elderly) to safety or simply refuse to participate and just walk off.

Kill Black Fridays!

I’m really ducking from the monkey feces now! Of course it’s not a popular idea or decision. I mean people need a bunch of crap that they really don’t need, just because it will save them a hundred dollars. I get it. OK, not really.

Overall I think the best action we could all take is to do away with the idea of Black Friday (and now Thursday too) and spend more time trying to act like humans and spend time with the people we claim to love. Most of us have everything we need and I would even bet that most of the people we are buying these gifts for just want to be loved.

Say no to the madness. Stop acting like insane monkeys and start acting like a decent human beings.


Posted in


Branding and Marketing Advice

Every month I will deliver valuable advice or resources directly to your inbox. Learn how build and grow a profitable brand for free. I respect your privacy and time, so you'll only get my best insights. Nothing less.