Yes, we all know (or maybe are) the guy or gal who knows how every player should perform and what every play the coach should call. These tribal members are the ones who can always do things better. Amazingly, some of these armchair quarterbacks have never played a day in their lives or made any important game decisions outside of Madden 2011. Many of these experts have only spent time observing or consuming, but never participating.

It’s easy to complain or criticize when you sit on the sideline being a spectator.

Whether in sports or in business, it’s easier to say something than it is to actually do it. I’ve learned this again by stepping into an indoor soccer arena this season. I coach a team and I play on a team. And I find myself making the same mistakes on the field that I teach my players NOT to do in their games. Moving at actual game speed changes your perspective and thought process. You get hit, tripped, and pushed. Your legs burn with exhaustion and your chest screams for oxygen. You don’t always make the plays you thought you could when you were sitting in the bleachers, and can only fully appreciate and understand the experience by actually getting in the game!

Don’t complain about a person or an organization without first stepping into their shoes.

Do you criticize your boss without thinking about all the circumstances she must be facing? Do you complain about your church not having a better children’s ministry or outreach program, without ever stepping up yourself? Do you critique your child’s little league team or organization, yet never offer to assist or be involved? Put yourself in their shoes.

The best way to bring change or improvements is to stop being a spectator. Stop complaining and start playing!

If you resigned or retired, would anyone care?

This was the question I kept asking myself as I continued to see tweet after tweet roll out about Jobs. I wasn’t thinking about it in a narcissistic way, but rather with a concerning wonder if I was making enough difference in the world through my life, my products, or my services. Am I doing something worthy enough that people would miss it if I quit?

I once saw a similar question in a church leadership book. The author asked church pastors or church planters if their church shut their doors today, would the community truly miss them. Boom! The reality is that most churches never make any impact in their community and people wouldn’t notice if they were gone tomorrow.

I don’t know about you but I want people to care if I resign. 

I want my products or services to inspire people like Steve Jobs did through Apple. I desire that my coaching and mentoring helps change lives like Tony Dungy has done through his coaching. I dream that I can give back like Bill Gates has through his foundation. In short, I hope that what I do makes a difference enough in that I’d be missed … not for ego or self-serving values, but because what I did changed lives.

How about you? Do you want to do great things?

Honest feedback is something lacking in our world today. Our culture has placed such a focus on being sensitive to others or only listening to what makes us happy that it can be rare to find a person who is willing to be a friend who sharpens their friends. But these people do exist and it’s always refreshing to hear their words – even if it’s the words I would not choose to hear.

Yesterday was a blessing to me because I was able to spend an hour talking with a friend who is willing to say the truth. He has helped me more than he may realize. First he listened to my barrage of ideas and situations and then he responded in a way that was serious yet gentle. He was sharpening iron.

Honest feedback and advice keeps us from making mistakes or doing something we later regret. Honest feedback gives us the opportunity to better ourselves and make decisions that benefit not only ourselves, but the people around us. Having someone to be quick to listen and slow to speak is worth more than gold.

I won’t name my friend for various reasons but he knows who he is and I am very thankful for him. I also hope you can find a mentor or a friend who is willing to do the same. It’s more valuable than you could ever believe!

When you take on projects or clients that end up being a nightmare, you learn you don’t want do those things ever again. The same goes for when you put your hand on a hot stove. Pain or bad experiences teach us to avoid unpleasant situations. It doesn’t matter if you chose to do it or it happened by accident – what matters is that you find out what you want to do again or not do again.

This is why it’s important to fail and fail often.

I’ve been failing a lot lately through testing programs and promotions (e.g. March Madness Blog Special = #HUGEFAIL) or by working with clients I KNEW I shouldn’t have said yes to. But this has all been instrumental in helping me define exactly what I will spend my time on in the future. It’s given me the ability to say no to projects or ideas that I once thought would be worthwhile.

So go out today and do something. Fail. Learn what NOT to do by DOING it. Experience is the best teacher!