Why Make the Change?
Categories: Life Journies
There is a work battle going on in my life. Every time that I make a decision that is for the best I get fragged from all sides. I am used to it but I never welcome it.
Lately there has been a ton on my mind – most of which relates to my march towards 40, a huge lack of creative expression and empty promises that continue to find their way back to me. The other side is that I love being an entrepreneur and freestyle agent, but am fearful that continuing to combine that passion with my others will dilute and tarnish my street cred and brand. Maybe it’s just analysis paralysis.
The biggest deal for me is of promises I made to God and myself relating to kids being locked up for life for committing murder, the 10 years I lost from drug addictions, funerals of teenage friends, and a girl pouring her heart out to me wanting to commit suicide. These are true experiences that made a profound impact on my life both good and bad. The last six years I’ve broken important promises because I’ve been pretty damn selfish and focused on money.
The following song has been on my mind for weeks and the lyrics resonate personally with me for the above reasons. I’ve lived through some very hellish nightmares that I truly believe God allowed me to suffer through for a very specific purpose. [Acts 20:24] I don’t expect people to understand and there may be an exodus of readers, but I cannot deny what I’ve been called to do very much longer. This is the reason for changes and I do hope it will turn out right.
(WARNING – there is explicit language/song lyrics but it is a very real vibe of some things in life and how we should be careful about judging others … just saying)
I’m wrestling with a few hard decisions on my end as well…God’s calling versus Personal craftiness…Priority versus Purpose…etc…a constant struggle that I’m learning to release my reigns and slowly watch myself die…but that’s where the familiar yet cliche and powerful truth saying comes in “whoever loses his life shall find it”
Keep the transparency coming brotha!
Rob
Hey Rob!
Always great to hear from you and I pray that the answers to those decisions will become clear. It’s always a difficult process trying to discern God’s Calling vs. Personal Desires. Here is what I have discovered through many of my desert wandering sessions:
1. God is more concerned with your heart and relationship with Him, over what you do. I think as Christians we can get so bogged down trying to follow a “call” but I believe that as long as we honor God, He is happy with that. “Whatever you do, do it for the glory of God.”
2. Sometimes our desires are His desires. If what we desire can bring Him glory, then it will be good.
My personal experience as I worked through a church planting call was that God is less concerned with our vocational life and more focused on our walk with Him. And if there is something He REALLY wants us to do, it will be made clear and we won’t be comfortable until we do it.
Let me know what I can do to help and I’ll be praying for you! Thanks for the friendship and feedback!
The more I read and reflect on your responses and posts, the more I notice a cohesiveness with what my life path is like and how God is communicating to me.
Earlier this week, I heard on a podcast (Francis Chan) that one pastor friend of his was puzzled by a dicotomoy – His calling vs. Serving God…and what he meant by his priority calling was LOVING HIS WIFE
I thought that was extremely insightful because sometimes I can place my passions before her and forget to stop and listen.
Thanks for reminder that my heart is more of a concern than intellectual prowess (head).